Where do you find yourself on the spectrum of trying to control things in your life and in the lives of those around you? What crazy efforts are you taking to manage or control situations, relationships, possessions, and even work?
I have never really thought of myself as fitting into the category of “control freak.” Sure, I have known some others who I would place in that particular category, but not myself. It isn’t that I don’t like to have or feel control over certain areas of my life, it’s just that I didn’t realize just how many areas the control that I DO want impacts, nor did I fully understand the roots of it.
I do not need to control our finances, for instance. I trust my wise and capable husband to dictate or direct where we spend money, how we save it, etc. I do not need to control the systems put in place at work, or how people are doing their jobs. I trust that the teachers and leaders are competent and I feel secure that I am as well. I do not feel as if I must try to control friendship relationships or those of my extended family. (Can you see why I haven’t yet thought of myself as some sort of freak?)
Here’s the problem: I realized that there are in fact areas of my life that I feel almost desperate to control – or at the very least – struggle to surrender. My children. My spouse. My ministry.
I want my kids to grow up to be amazing men and women. I want them to love the LORD with all their hearts and serve Him. I want them to regularly and consistently exercise wisdom and discernment. I want them to work hard, but find balance for future families and relationships. I want them to be kind, compassionate, caring, giving, loving, and I want them to be close to us emotionally.
I want my spouse to reach his top potential. I want him to consistently demonstrate godly priorities. I want him to lead the church well, as well as lead this home. I desire for him to seek wisdom and discernment from God. I want him to be trustworthy, respectful, kind, loving, consistent, encouraging, a hard worker who is not a workaholic. I want him to become more and more passionate about Christ with every day he is given here on earth.
Here’s the thing: While it’s not bad to want those things – when I try to shape them or push for them to happen, (in other words, control) I am not walking in obedience to what God desires for me. I am not walking or living in a way that helps me achieve those desires. I am simply setting myself up for disappointment when my goals, hopes, dreams, and expectations are not met.
God is the One in control. It is not my job to be, nor my job to try and achieve it. It is God’s job alone. He is the only One capable enough. Wise enough. Strong enough.
I am not called to control. I am instructed to surrender. Interestingly enough, it is in the surrender that things can begin to change. Surrender is not passive. It is not “throwing in the towel.” Surrender is just placing my desires, hopes, and dreams, into the hands of the One in control. I surrender them unto Him, and speak to Him (pray) about them, but releasing them into His more than capable hands.
So I ask you: What is it that you are trying to control that God wants you to surrender? Will you surrender it?
Our God can do way more through our surrender, than you can ever
Blessings!