“He holds in His hands the depths of the earth and the mightiest mountains.” (Psalm 95:4)
“The mountains melt like way before the LORD, before the LORD of all the earth.” (Psalm 97:5)
LORD, my heart is distraught. I am overwhelmed by what feels like rejection after rejection. Have you turned your back on me? Why is my heart taking such abuse? Why am I under such attack? Where are you? Do you not still defend me? Am I not still the one you love? Has my heart wandered from you? Is this some sort of punishment for my actions? LORD, I desire to be yours. I desire to live a life of holiness and obedience. I want to live for you – giving all I have to bring you honor and glory – and yet, I feel like I am being rejected. Forgotten. Abandoned.
Do you see the evils done against me? Do you see the stripping away of my heart and passion? My worship and passion for worship are being silenced and removed. My commitment/role of raising your beloved daughter are being stripped from me as well. My health is failing. My heart is breaking. Do you see? Do you know? Are you behind this? Are you punishing me? Ignoring my need? Why are you allowing this to happen? Has your hand been shortened to save? No! I don’t believe it! Are my troubles too big for you? Impossible for the God who moves mountains! Why then do you choose not to save? Especially when you are mighty enough to do so. Do you seek to destroy me?
LORD, I am placing my heart before you. I have literally no hope apart from you in making any of this right. You will either choose to act as my savior in this – or I will drown deeper in the sea of loss. Please see me and save me. Guard my heart in the midst of this. Help me to stay with you. Do not allow my heart to be led astray.
Help me to continue to seek you and remember your faithfulness.
Amen.