The end of the year is always challenging for teachers. All the time spent at the beginning of the year, and then the reinforcing midway through about the behavioral expectations seem to just go by the wayside. In elementary school, this is especially true with our 5th grade students. Blame it on hormones or something else, but the 5th grade students become a group of students who seem completely oblivious to all the behavioral instruction that they have been given in elementary school for the past 6 years!
For most of my teaching career, I have been in contained classrooms. Behavior in rooms like that tend to be challenging throughout the whole year, and while they escalate toward year end, it makes sense. These kids are ones who struggle to regulate and know or practice the rules anyway. (Hence their containment.)
However, in my current job, I work school-wide. While I focus on those students who need some extra supports, I deal with and see all classrooms, and therefore all students. What I have noticed is that at this point in the year, I am devoting the majority of my day to the 5th grade.
Bullying, harassing, physical aggression, defiance – these big four behaviors seem to be happening multiple times daily. I have students treating each other in cruel ways, which is hard to watch. It’s difficult not because the students don’t know better, but because they do! They know, and yet they choose these four behaviors and don’t seem to care.
Who cares if I hurt ___________? I may not even know why I am doing it, but I want to do it.
There is no perspective. There is no sign of compassion or empathy. Just self. And frankly, when students act this way, there is little I can do to help shift them back. It’s a choice. The choice is entirely in their hands.
So I become a sort of “fire fighter,” trying to keep the fires of misbehavior at a minimum. To the best of my ability, I try to help with reminders of the rules and expectations. I try to paint a picture of another perspective. I try to help create other ideas or strategies that could be used when emotions run high. And I provide consequences when poor choices are made.
This whole mess breaks my heart. Truly. Because they know better. They know what is right and good, and they choose not to do it.
I am not perfect. I miss things. I am definitely not God who is perfect and holy. And yet, this sort of misbehavior – this rejection of what is right and good is so difficult for me to sit back and watch. How much more than, friend, do you suppose it hurts our Heavenly Father to watch us participate in similar ways? All those times where we know what we should be doing – what God wants – even commands us to do – and yet we defiantly do something cruel or wrong. It’s as if we are saying, “Thanks, but no thanks, God. I’ll pass.”
What’s even harder to grasp is that for many of us this isn’t our attitude for only a period of time – like a teenager. For many of us, this becomes a place where we set up camp and live. “My rules. My life. My perspective.” We balk at consequences for our actions. We complain because we feel entitled to things we don’t have. But we are on our own agenda. Disobedience.
God doesn’t want us to just know the rules. That’s not enough. He wants us to follow the rules. Live by them.
“Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them.” (John 14:23) “Walk in obedience to all that the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live and prosper and prolong your days in the land that you will possess.” (Deuteronomy 28:1) “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.” (James 1:22)
Friends, God wants us to do the right thing. He wants us to live under His rules. He isn’t trying to hurt us, or restrict us, He is trying to help us! To guide us! He is trying to keep us in a place where we can prosper. Not unlike where I am trying to keep my students at school. Our behavior is a choice. What will you choose?
Blessings!