Yesterday marked the first day of high school for our youngest child, Grace. As is typical for our family, we wanted to make sure that pictures were taken to document the start of yet another year and milestone in the lives of our children.
I kid you not, Grace knew that the pictures were coming. In fact, I am not really convinced that she wasn’t okay with me taking the pictures as much as she wasn’t ok – period. Grace wrestles with anxiety from time to time. Typically times of transitions – especially transitioning into unfamiliar territory – triggers her anxiety.
We both saw it coming. In fact, she and I had already spoken about it. Her father had tried to help calm her nerves by taking her to the open house/freshman orientation night. I had even prayed with her.
Still, her anxiety – her nervousness – her fear of the unknown – or “could happen” thoughts were taking over. Grace, while very talented and skilled in multiple ways, is not very good at hiding emotions or “faking it.”
And so, this year’s school pictures not only took forever but also produced documentation of a teenager whose excitement for the next chapter of her life was overshadowed by the fear of “what if’s.” Poor kid.
Now, Grace is beautiful. I know as a mom, I can be a bit biased… but I don’t think in her case I am. She is beautiful. Despite her inability to shake her anxiety or fake it, she still looks pretty – but her smile never makes it to her eyes – which is a give away for what is in her heart and mind. She might fool others, but I can see right through it. I know she’s stressed. I know my daughter so well that even though her words may deny what is going on in her heart, I can read the truth non-verbally.
Why do we try to hide what is really going on in our hearts? In our minds? Why do we say we are okay when we are falling apart inside? Why do we pretend to have it together when ultimately we are one incident away from crumbling? Maybe we believe we are better at covering up our emotions? Maybe it feels unsafe to be real or transparent with God or others? Maybe there are other reasons altogether. I don’t know.
What I do know is that we have a Heavenly Father who is not fooled by our plastic smiles or upbeat words. God sees us. Really sees us. He knows the state of our hearts and minds. He knows each fear, and every factor contributing to it. He sees our anxious and overwhelmed hearts. But God does not leave us to deal with our emotions and circumstances alone. God is near. God is present. God desires for us to remember who He is and the power that is available for us to cope. Not only cope – but conquer our circumstances.
Take comfort in the Word of God: “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7) Jesus said, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?’ (Matthew 6:25-27)
Friend, whatever you face, God can handle. Whatever it is that lies before you and causes your emotions and mind to drown in a state of overwhelm – God can manage. Give it to Him. Cast your cares – your anxiety on Him. Stop trying to fake your way through. Be transparent with your Father who adores you. Let Him handle your situation. He is able.
Blessings!