Starting school each year inevitably brings surprises. In a school like mine, we typically see more stability as far as retaining our students than most of the others within our district. No doubt this fluctuates from year to year, but this particular year seems to have an increase of students who are arriving with more baggage than we typically do, and frankly more of a void.
It always breaks my heart when I learn the stories of what some of these kiddos and their families have had to go through. Truly, it reminds me that our hearts for difficult people can really change when we can hear a bit of their story. We grow in empathy and compassion. We are more tolerant of deficits.
My particular job is rather unique in that I am not tied to a classroom. This means that I go in and out of the classes checking in on teachers and all of our students. Sure, I focus on the ones who have sort of risen to the top behaviorally, but I am also scanning the room. I am looking for anyone who sticks out as needing a little extra support. Encouragement. Help.
While walking through one of our primary classrooms, I noticed that a very skilled and seasoned teacher appeared to be a bit frazzled. I have never seen her looking this way, so I decided to stay in the room for a bit. It was evident almost immediately what the reason for her demeanor was. Even though we try and distribute classrooms as equally as we can with the students and behavior that we are aware of, she had happened to receive a couple of move-ins who we were not familiar with. And both of these kiddos were needy. I mean very needy. So not only did this poor teacher have some challenges with behavioral students we knew about, she was now given students with big needs trying to fill their void.
One little girl, in particular, stood out. She was cute and she was clean, but this little lady was doing just about everything she could to get some attention from her teacher. Frankly, she didn’t care if the attention was positive or negative. She needed her teacher’s attention, and she needed it with a pretty high level of frequency. While I was in the room, this little girl would do something about every two minutes just to get some affirmation or correction. A word.
When I had an opportunity to visit with the teacher later, I learned that this child’s family is currently homeless. Honestly, without even knowing the rest of her story, I knew that this little lady was living through some tough times. Her little void was showing: I need affection. I need someone to see me. I need someone to show me that they care about me.
I have no idea or judgment about what home life is like for this child. I do know that when families are in crisis, sometimes kids get put on the back burner. It’s not intentional. Just reality. And I truly do believe that most people are doing the best that they can.
I saw for just a brief time one person filling a void in the best way that they knew how. But friend, this got me to thinking: What are my voids? Emotionally and spiritually speaking. How do I try and fill them? How is it working for me? Is it working for me? Is there a different way? A better way?
Often adults choose to fill their voids differently than children. So while I am not sitting in class pulling on my teacher’s skirt, doing cart-wheels, or engaging in non-compliance behaviors, I do choose to do something. I neglect my family so that I can lose myself in social media, or TV, or check out of reality into my video games. I engage in destructive behaviors like pornography, alcohol, or drugs. I jump from relationship to relationship hoping that at some point I will either feel love or at the very least feel something. I shop or spend money on things that I can neither afford nor truly need because it feels good and it provides me a temporary distraction from reality.
Friend, regardless of what methods we are choosing to fill our voids, there is only one real way to achieve healing. There is only one thing that can actually fill in the holes of our lives and that is found in our Heavenly Father.
God sees our wounds. God recognizes our voids. God holds the power to heal. God can re-write the baggage of our past and transform us into new creations.
When we fill our void with God and His love, we are not creating new baggage. We are learning to stop carrying it.
There is no one else – nothing else at all – that holds that kind of transformational power.
Take your hurts to God. Let Him fill our voids. He can. He will.
“But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,’ declares the LORD.” (Jeremiah 30:17)
Blessings!