Proverbs 14:12 “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.”
Have you ever noticed that most of us tend to evolve a bit as we spend any kind of time around someone? Of course, I don’t mean that everything changes all at once, or we take on a twin-like appearance, but we evolve. Our speech changes. Words and phrases we may have never had in our vocabulary now become part of our everyday use. Mannerisms can start to grow more and more similar. We may even find that we are changing habits – sometimes for good and sometimes not – based on those that we surround ourselves with.
Is it any wonder then, why we need to be somewhat selective in who we surround ourselves with?
I think about this quite a bit with my teenage daughters. Those they choose to hang out with, will pick up some of their characteristics, but likewise, there is a great chance that unless my children are strong and secure – intentional about what they allow themselves to “pick up” from others, they can easily evolve into situations and habits that do not mirror the core values and beliefs we have been trying to raise them in.
Who we surround ourself with matters.
Being raised in the church, I have heard and read the stories of how Jesus regularly spent time with sinners. In fact, he chose 12 of them to be his closest friends and spent the last 3 years of his life with them. I love that Jesus didn’t exclude people. He saw them. And yet, Jesus was also very secure in who he was. Jesus began spending time with these guys at the age of 30. His habits were not altered by his friends – for example, his habit of going off alone to spend time in prayer with his Father – but remained a core value for Jesus that his friends were able to witness. Jesus’ friends were rough around the edges, but at no time to we read of Jesus sinking to their level of selfishness.
Friend, while many of us desire to become more and more like Jesus, we often surround ourselves with others who do not. While I believe God has commissioned us “to go unto all the world making disciples,” we must also surround ourselves with people who also love the LORD and desire to live for him, or we are likely to go astray. We are, after all, definitely not Jesus. We are still sinners by nature. He was not.
I was thinking about this the other day as I heard a quote from Craig Groeschel: “If you are around the wrong people, listening to the wrong voices, and living for the wrong voices, what seems right will often be wrong.”
I began to chew on the truth of this phrase. I believe with all my heart that God did not design us to go through life alone. Obviously He didn’t! That’s why he didn’t just leave Adam alone in the garden. God knew that it wasn’t good for us to be by ourselves (although I must say that there are times where alone time is absolutely wonderful). Yet, when we are still working on developing who we are – when we are still trying to come up with plans and habits for how to become who we want to become, we can easily be swayed. More so than just picking up new vocabulary and mannerisms!
For example, when life hands me something frustrating – a curveball – or when something in my day begins to overwhelm me, I really need to be selective about who I share my situation with at work. You see, I have coworkers who love the LORD, and while not perfect, are striving to grow in their Christlikeness. I also have coworkers (who I love as people), who rarely if ever even think about the LORD – let alone try to be like him! Can you imagine then the difference in the advice they give? In the different strategies they use to cope with or deal with the situation? I am telling you, they are vastly different. My believer friends will encourage a response like: “God is with you. You don’t need to worry, God’s got this. God can bring something good from this.” My non-believer friends will encourage me with a response that is more often around revenge, calling others out on their behavior, going toe to toe to make my point. Their advice might seem good. But it doesn’t align with the One that is right. The One they don’t know.
Who we surround ourselves with matters. Who we listen to matters. Knowing who we are, matters.
Do you know who you are? Who do you want to be? Where are you at in moving toward that person? Are you compromising? Have you gone off track? As a Christian, if I am not daily becoming more like Christ, I am off the path God wants me to be on. It’s time to become more intentional about how I live, the patterns and habits I practice, and who I surround myself with.
LORD, would You reveal to us any area in our lives where we are currently out of line with You? Would You show us how to place You as our priority and listen to Your voice of truth? We know that Your way is the right way. Help us not to settle for anything less. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Blessings!