“Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:4)
Why does it seem so hard to put our “self” aside and take a different other-centered stance? From what I have best been able to understand throughout my time here on earth, we all struggle – mankind in general struggles – with self. We want what we want and we want it when we want it. There is little thought of the impact on those around us, as long as my needs (or wants) are being met.
Is this focus on others something that some people just innately have and others don’t? That would be a hard sell for me, as I realize that we all start out as pretty self-centered little babies. But is there a certain type of personality or upbringing that creates people who are just naturally better at thinking of others before themselves? Not to be a martyr. Not to create an image of humility. Not to get something by giving something. I’m wondering more along the lines of those few who seem to actually live-out putting God and others before themselves. How are they able to do it?
Why do I care? Why do I ask? Why do I genuinely and truly want to know? In part, I think I wonder about all of it because I genuinely want to 1) become more that way; 2) I want my children to become more that way; 3) I want to surround myself with more saints like that. (I say, saints because, for me, it seems so Christlike in the behavior – and I have so much work left to do to achieve it!)
How do those few people put themselves aside and put others first? I think of the Mother Teresa’s out there who go off and serve the poor and destitute. Others first, self second. Or those amazing men and women who risked their lives and gave of their resources to hide Jews in their homes during the time of the Nazi regime. Others first, self second.
Honestly, when I reflect on my own times of selflessness, they seem few and far between. There are those times when I come home drained from a hard day and work only to be greeted by a daughter who needs help with her homework. I put my self and my desires aside and help her do what needs to be done. Do I want to? No. Inside my self is screaming. I can feel the familiar warmth of escalation inside rising up within me. I want to do something different. I want to have me-time. And so even on those occasions where I seem to make the right choice, I feel like I am being cheated out of something I wanted or “deserved.”
Wow. That’s pretty ugly. Self generally is.
Here’s the thing, I believe that God doesn’t want us so tied to selfishness. Why do I think that? Because God isn’t selfish. God isn’t a greedy hoarder. God doesn’t look at His children and say, “Not today, kid. Daddy’s got other plans.” He isn’t disconnecting with us. He isn’t avoiding us. He isn’t putting Himself first. He probably should. Frankly, we don’t deserve all the times and ways that He puts us first. But I am grateful that He does. I am so grateful that God isn’t a selfish God. How do I know He’s not? I guess I know because He is a giving God. You can be selfish or you can be giving – but you can’t really be both. We are sort of like little boomerangs that go back and forth between the two. God doesn’t. He is always on the giving side. He is always thinking of us. He is always showering us with His love and blessings. He is always good (even when we don’t see it). He is always just. He is always righteous. He is always holy. He is never selfish.
Oh, that we were more like God! Oh, that we were more willing to get our priorities straight! This is especially true if we are to consider ourselves Christ-followers! We should do as Christ then, and put God first above all others, then we should put one another and lastly we should find our selves.
Imagine if we did this better. Can you? God would always be our go-to. We would have regular conversations with God about everything. We would better see and understand Him, and we would also have a greater vision for and understanding of his people around us. Serving God and others would be energizing, not depleting. We would crave it. It would be easy to set our selfishness aside and give.
I realize that seems like an impossibility this side of Heaven. Maybe it is. But perhaps we could do a better job at living this way even in more frequent ways that we are currently doing. Maybe we could look for opportunities to be givers – other-centered.
During this Covid-19 time, perhaps this looks like thinking of the health and safety of others and staying home instead of taking the trip to the coast or heading out to the store daily – because I am thinking of the lives of others and putting them before my own selfish desire to do something outside my home. Maybe it looks like making an effort not to hoard supplies (like toilet paper or baby wipes) that others need, or sharing what I do have. Maybe it looks like taking the time to make phone calls, send emails or text messages, writing and sending snail mail to other folks to check in on them and show them they matter instead of spending time binge-watching a television program or spending countless hours scrolling through the pages of Facebook.
You get it. Put others before yourself. Why? Because Jesus did.
Maybe we struggle with this because we just don’t see people and their needs well. There is most likely some truth to that. We American’s like to go through life with our blinders on. But we don’t have to. Like so many other areas of our faith walk, if we were to ask God for eyes to see, He will give them to us. He will open our eyes. The question isn’t then if God can, the question becomes “Do we want Him to?” Once we see, we don’t “un-see.”
Oh God, give us wisdom in this! Do we want to become more like Christ? If we do, it will get uncomfortable. But that is where the real blessings are. That is where real intimacy with God is found. Is that what we want? Or are we more content somewhere along the “happy to be saved, but not ready to be transformed” stage? We are still all Christians. We are saved by His grace. But we are not all Christ-like. Are we content with that?
It’s a decision we all get to make. Not once, but daily. “Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.” (Colossians 3:2)
Today, I am asking you, God, to open my eyes to see you clearly. I want to see you. I want to hear you. I want to feel your nearness. LORD God, would you lead me into a deeper understanding of who you are? Would you lead me into a deeper understanding of how you desire me to live? Would you take complete control of my circumstances? I trust you with them all. You have never failed me. You will not fail me now. You see and know what I do not see and know. Heavenly Father, help me to use this life as an opportunity to bring blessings into the lives of others. I want to be loving and giving to your people, putting them above my own hearts desires. I will need your power to do so. I will need your strength to keep going. I will need your heart to forgive those you call me to be giving toward who are self-seeking and even hurtful towards me. It’s not about getting my heart right with them, is it? It’s about getting my heart and actions right with you! LORD, help me to use every gift and talent in ways that honor you. I ask this in Jesus’ name, Amen.
Blessings!