This morning marks the first day in the new year for me that I have actually forced myself to sit down and write. In fact, for those of you who have been reading this blog in the past, you may be saying – “You haven’t actually written anything for a long time, Michelle.” You would right. I haven’t. I used to write every work morning. What changed?
My heart for people hasn’t. My heart for the LORD hasn’t. Certainly, if I was able to wake up early enough before to read my Bible and still have time to write, I could do it again, right?
I’m not sure that I can provide a specific explanation. I’ve spent time ruminating on this, and continue to land nowhere. What I have come to realize with quite a bit of clarity is that my heart is grieved. My heart is heavy. I wouldn’t say that I am fighting depression, or that I am incapacitated to process or move toward action in my life (or the lives of those around me)… I’m just grieved.
I am grieved by the lack of integrity people have. Not necessarily for non-believers – or those who don’t claim to know Jesus as their personal LORD and Savior. No, I am grieved by the actions and choices of those who are claiming this. Those who proclaim with their mouths one thing, but then are so willing to compromise truth, obedience, humility, integrity – all of it… This grieves me.
Likewise, I find that I am deeply grieved by the passivity of those who claim to have God as their LORD. Is He? Is He the one calling the shots? Is He the one who determines what is true? Is He the one who declares what is right (holy) and what is wrong (sin), or do my feelings? Does culture? Are we more concerned about what feels good and right to us? Or are we more concerned about trusting and obeying what God says is good and right – even when we don’t understand the reasons for it? Even when it doesn’t “feel kind.”
Who are we? Are we gods? Most of us would quickly deny this – but we certainly act like we believe ourselves to be.
Who’s opinion matters most to you? God’s? Or the opinion of those around you? Are you willing to hold every thought up – every cultural construct – every piece of propaganda and theory – to the Word of God? Or are you choosing in your own intelligence what is true and feels right?
I have no desire to live in a way that people despise me. I, like pretty much everyone else, prefer to have people like me. But can I like myself if I feel like I put the mandates of God – the instructions/directions of what is His best for me – on the chopping block in order to achieve or maintain a good opinion from others? No thank you. I know where that leads. Destruction. Pain. Regret. Shame. Guilt. Separation.
“Prove by the way you live that you have repented of your sins and turned to God.” (Matthew 3:8)
Would our lives provide evidence that we have done just that? We are all sinners. We are all guilty. That’s a common thread of mankind. But if I claim to know God – the One True God – and have accepted his Son Jesus, the one and only way to be saved – then my life should not look like it did before. My actions should be transforming away from popular opinion and cultural norms and begin to reflect more and more the character of Christ. Christ living in me. Christ working in me. Christ being evidenced to those around me. My life is no longer mine. It was bought at a price. One that I could not pay.
Friends, I implore you, truly beg you to read the Words of truth. Let them be your compass. Let them be your measuring rod. Don’t compromise. Don’t be passive. Seek Him first. Seek Him above all else. He will not lead you astray.
Men may revile you. They may say all kinds of evil and lies about you. They did this to Jesus. But God will not abandon His faithful followers. In fact, God promises eternal blessings to those who are willing to stand upon His Word. He promises his presence in the midst of it.
Allow God to be at the helm of your life. Ask God for help and direction. Remember that God will not contradict Himself or His Word. God will not lead his people to say or do something while they must break his law/commands to do it. The God who created life and cherishes his creation is not going to waffle on aborting babies. The God who tells us not to commit idolatry isn’t going to be ok with our putting anything above himself in our hearts. The God who tells us that there is only one way to salvation and that is through Jesus Christ isn’t going to change his criteria to “belief in a higher power, and be kind.” God is not ok with lying (please let’s not fool ourselves into thinking God cares about “white lies.” Lies are lies. Lies are sin.).
How are you living?
Look, I know that we struggle with sin. I do. We all do. We have a bent toward sin. But sin does not have control over those who are made new in Christ. I cannot overpower my sins – but Christ can. And Christ lives in me. Christ is trustworthy. He is aware of all that surrounds me. So does the way that I am living represent Christ accurately? Is my life glorifying Him? Am I submitting my thoughts, desires, and “wisdom” to the thoughts, desires, wisdom, and holy character of the King of Kings and LORD of Lords?
Perhaps it’s time to do some intense self-reflection.
Blessings.