I had an experience yesterday at work that stuck out to me. Over the past couple of years my job has gotten less and less proactive in nature and more and more reactive. Because of this, I am having less time (if any time) to pull kiddos and run social skills classes, and have been spending more time – a very large amount of my day, actually – consequating behaviors and less time addressing the skill deficits that may have gotten them into trouble in the first place. (Hopefully that makes sense.) With that said, I am currently running one group of 4 students who were on a waitlist for a friendship group last year but did not actually receive any skills training.
It’s an interesting group of kiddos, this group. There are two boys and two girls who really don’t have all that much in common… except that they (and/or their families and teachers) have noticed that they struggle when it comes to making, keeping, and being a friend.
Initially, I really had no way of knowing how this group of very different personalities would mesh – or if it would work at all. Interestingly enough, the first session was an incredible shocker for me. The kiddos not only were respectful to one another, but they were very candid and transparent right off the bat. They shared some pretty personal and vulnerable things about themselves, their families, their struggles with relationships. It was a powerful first 45 minute session, and I left that group feeling really jazzed about it.
Yesterday was session two with this crew. The kids did well with each other. Thankfully, that’s not what stuck out! But something did really stick out to me. The focus skill was something about joining groups and reading the verbal and non-verbal cues as well as stating that when you join a group and the topic is already established – it is rude to interrupt or join and change the topic. I kid you not, there was a script that the kids read. Each of them had a line. It went something like this: Boy 1: “How about the Yankee game last night? Did you get a chance to see any of it?” Girl 1: “Yes! It was crazy, right? I can’t believe they came back to win the game in the last inning!” Boy 2 joins: “I have a pet lizard.” So after this is read, we as a group talked about how Boy 1 and Girl 1 would be feeling if this happened to them. Everyone says, “that would be weird” or “rude” or even “I’d be uncomfortable”. Those are all the answers that I am hoping they would give and so we move on in our lesson.
No joke, we are almost through the next page when the student who played Boy 2 raises his hand. I pause my teaching and ask him what his question is. He says, “I do really want a pet bearded dragon.” Um… The rest of the group, including myself, are silent for a moment. This is not done to be a smart Alec. This is literally done without any realization that he has absolutely just done what we had said was not a good move. ALMOST VERBATIM. The other boy in the group, who is very kind, graciously pointed out that he had just done what was acted out on the page before. But this kid became defensive. “What? I raised my hand!” He had. That was true. But the application of what was being taught had completely been missed. It was as if he hadn’t read the material at all.
And here’s where this gets me to thinking… How often are we Boy #2 in our walk with the LORD? In our relationship with Him. (This assumes that we are even students of Him to begin with!) But it DOES get me to thinking. Are we reading God’s word so that we can begin to think more like God, know Him better, and allow Him to transform – through His word – our minds? Are we relying on some teacher – maybe a pastor, maybe a blogger, maybe a podcaster, maybe even just a friend to tell us what the scriptures say and how to interpret them? Are we getting defensive or offended when we get corrected spiritually? Are we trying to mold to the way and thinking of the LORD, or are we trying to mold and fit Him into our ways, our desires, our preferred version of Him?
This feels like a big deal to me these days. I think even more so than it did before. I want to get this right. I want others to get this right, too. And it certainly feels like “Christians” are for the most part – at least here in the west – lazy. Misled. Believing in false doctrines. Calling Jesus “Lord” but not living like He is. It has become popular to present Jesus as “all loving, and accepting, even tolerant of the sinners” while then believing that those who were in the Scriptures were the “scum of society and doomed to hell.” I don’t think either of those things are true! Yes! Jesus showed grace to sinners and welcomed those from all classes/walks of life – but unless there was repentance and faith in Him – they were still doomed to hell. And the same for the priests and religious teachers. Their problem was self-reliance, exclusivity, pride – and FALSE DOCTRINE or false interpretation of the scriptures that made our LORD mad enough to flip their tables and call them out.
We cannot forget who Jesus is. Jesus is God. We cannot separate Him from the Father nor from the Spirit. He is God. That means, good teaching comes from all of God’s Word. That means that all of God’s Word is true and points us to Him and His perfect holiness, or reveals mans depravity and damnation apart from Him. This Jesus, who extended the invitation to any who would repent and follow Him in faith is the same Jesus who will come riding on a white horse with a two-edged sword coming out of His mouth to do battle and rid this world of sin once and for all. The repentant faithful followers will spend eternity with a Holy and Righteous God, and the rest of mankind will be separated from Him. What we think, what we believe, what we do, who we follow holds eternal consequences.
We’ve got to wake up. So many of us appear to hold in higher esteem our political candidates or political party than the King of Kings and the LORD of Lords. We prioritize our time for entertainment and hobbies over our time with our Savior. It’s backwards. It’s foolish. It’s how we so easily like sheep go astray.
Friend, I know we need to exercise caution and pay attention. We haven’t arrived at mastery of the skills yet. We haven’t. Even when we are students of the Word and spending time in daily fellowship with the LORD we blow it. We sin. We fall short. I know this is true because it not only aligns with the Word of God, but because I experience it! But friend, the Gospel Message is that of God’s followers spending their life repenting of their sin, and in faith following the LORD. The transformation is slow and takes an incredible amount of vulnerability and transparency before our Father, but the dividends… adoption as true children of God. Real friendship with the Author and Perfector of life.
LORD God, may everything that we think about you and everything we think of you align with Truth. Truth does not exist apart from you. Father purge us of our selfish and lazy nature. Help us instead to have an insatiable hunger and thirst for your word and time in your presence. Help us not just to read or hear the lessons of truth, but to apply them. Open our eyes to our sinful nature and our unconfessed sins. Help us to bring them to You, give them to You, and be cleansed by You. Fill us with awe for your holiness. Give us the wisdom we need to be true followers of You. You are good. You are right. You are LORD. Increase our love for You daily, LORD. We ask these things in accordance with your will. Amen.
“Surely this is our God; we trusted in him, and He saved us. This is the LORD, we trusted in Him; let us rejoice and be glad in His salvation.” – Isaiah 25:9