Blog

My heart feels heavy. My gut aches. My mind seems to be a mixture of scrambled while still racing.

Why?

Only a few days ago, I was in a place of rest and relaxation. No longer. It’s funny how re-entering into the work place can be so taxing. So challenging. A co-worker asked me if it was hard to come back to all the demands and needs of kids… No. It’s not the kids. It’s not my own family demands that have been all that challenging, either. It’s not the commitments to the church.

This week has been hard. Most of it has been from the stress of dealing with hurting people. People who are living in fear. People who don’t know the facts, but fill in what they perceive as truth and bash you with it. People who neither walk with Christ, or really see a need or desire to.

Frankly, the toll from such constant need and perpetual “crisis” is exhausting. My desire and heart are to help. And yet, you cannot really help someone who is only interested in attacking, belittling, and screaming from their emotion. (At least not until they are ready and willing to engage appropriately.) As I said, this is exhausting.

Today will hold more attempts to reach out. More attempts to help. More attempts to do what is right and kind, while still exercising wisdom to the best of my capacity.

With all this looming before me (after all, it is still only 6:00 am), I am in desperate need of encouragement and strength from my Father. Have you been there?

I need some truth. Not the lies or partial truths of an angry person. “Even if everyone else is a liar, God is true.” (Romans 3:4a) Thank you, God, for that reminder today.

I need reminders of my value and worth. I need to be assured that God sees me. Cares for me. Hears me. Knows me. Loves me. “And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loved us, because He has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with His love.” (Romans 5:5) Thank you, God, for reminding me that not only do you love me, but you fill me with your very presence today.

I need not fear today. I have a hope that is found in Christ alone. This is not all there is for me. Today is not something I face alone. Far from it! I move onward knowing – not always feeling – but KNOWING that God goes before me. With me. Protecting me from what is seen and that which is not.

Undeserved privilege. That’s what this is. This hope. This knowing. It is an undeserved privilege, and it is mine.

“Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory.” (Romans 5:2)

Today and all the struggles it will contain are not permanent. I will not be a permanent resident here. This world is not my home. I am just passing through. This truth is not mine alone. It is the promise from a faithful, and honest God, to all of His children.

Blessings!