I’m not really sure of how many times my life has veered off on some tangent. You know what I mean, right? Moving almost every direction except for the ways in which I had originally hoped that they would go.
It’s not that I didn’t dream dreams… I think we all do that. But somewhere along the way, in part through my own choices, and in part due to circumstances that were far beyond my control, my life veered from my plan.
I never wanted to be in education. I never wanted to marry a pastor. I never wanted to have been divorced. I never wanted to biologically only have 2 children. I never wanted to feel distant from people I have loved deeply.
It was not part of my dream to be hurt. Left. Gossiped about. It was not part of my dream to have a child who will not ever achieve total independence. It was not part of my dream to lose ministries, or live my life with the pressure of public display.
But here I am.
While the loss of my dreams comes with some hurt, and some grief, I have to hold onto the fact that I believe in a God who sees me, knows me, and uses all things – not some things – ALL things for my good. I don’t always see it. I don’t always recognize it. If I am being honest, I even question His plan at times. Yet I always come back to relying on the truth that God is for me. Not against me. I return to the knowledge that His sight exceeds my own. His plans are far more complex and detailed than my own could ever be.
It is no wonder that Jeremiah 29:11 is like an anchor verse for me: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
The storm comes. “For I know the plans I have for you…”
Circumstances spin out of control. “For I know the plans I have for you…”
Dreams shatter. “For I know the plans I have for you…”
Honestly, when I bathe myself in the gentle and loving words of my Father, I am able to relinquish my goals and dreams to Him, and allow myself to fully experience and embrace the blessed plan that He continues to unfold before me.
I need to let go of my plans, and trust in His.
Blessings!
Oh Michelle…..how I needed these words…thank you my friend!